2:55 PM - Why I DESPISE Most People
Lately I've been going to little get-togethers with friends and family because they nag me so much about me not wanting to socialize with them (who could blame me?) and I feel like crap. I'm tired and sleepy all the time and lets not forget that I've gained like 6 pounds ever since I've started this little family bonding bullshit.
I was invited to yet another party for this Wednesday. 'Trullas' is what its gonna be. It's supposed to be a group of people going house to house singing and playing instruments and whatever... I said NO, because I was already beyond tired of this whole nonsense and my bitch of a cousin just had to call me anti-social and say some snide remarks about it. I eventually got fed up and told her to quit being so fucking vaginal on the subject because it was MY FUCKING CAR, she wanted to be chauffered in.
She could get her own motherfucking ride for being such a mouthy bitch from now on. She has a fucking boyfriend, maybe she could suck him off to get him actually interested in carting her useless whiny ass around town. (I really hate that bitch, even though she's actually blood related. She's just one of those people you love to make feel like crap for being such human waste.)
Haven't heard from my mother in ages because now she's got another deadbeat man in her life. Honestly, how many times can someone fuck up? I told her that if she didn't know how to pick a man with a fucking job and no addictions then she should fucking stay single and not bother. Last time I talked to her she said that she was coming to the island with her new man (a guy she's been fucking on and off for about 2 months. She's already thinking of moving in with him... Well him moving in with HER, because the bastard doesn't have a job OR a house), and I told her that if she wanted to do that, she should prepare herself to have everyone in our family calling her a dumbass for fucking up for the upteenth time. My aunt and grandpa are actually quite pissed with her behavior and have already told told her off.
She's fucking 49 years old. Has had 2 failed marrieges and about 6 failed boyfriends AFTER getting divorced. She's the kind of woman that gives EVERYTHING to her man (mostly money) and then whines about it when they dump her ass and leave her dirt broke.
I'm 28 years old and even I know that she's being increadibly stupid. I'm sick of having to play mother to my own mother. I've got a four year old little angel to raise and I can't take on the challenge of guiding an ADULT that can't for the life of her, take care of herself.
That stuff is just... It's very FRUSTRATING!
Why do I even stress over such crap? I guess I enjoy forcing myself to see how others keep screwing up their lives while dragging me down with them, because she indeed has TRIED to depress me with her issues. I know that she only tells me about her mistakes because she's seeking pity and for someone to tell her 'Everything is going to be okay. It's isn't your fault." but I've gotten so tired of her melodrama that I've told her to fuck off and that it IS her fault these things keep happening to her.
If I'm a horrible daughter, then what kind of mother is she? This is the person that was supposed to set a good example of what I should be as an adult and as a parent and all she has been is a complete let-down. It's rather shameful. At least my kid, always shows respect for me because she knows that I'm 100% there for her. Even her little friends respect me, whereas with my mother... The parents of my friends while I was growing up didn't want their kids near me due to her bad reputation and how badly she treated me because I was just bugging her 'man'.
Should I be a 'good person' and turn the other cheek? I don't think so... I've never been submissive to anyone and I'm not about to start lowering myself by starting now. She needs to quit depending on other people to get her out of trouble and to help her feel better. People always become so scandalized when hearing shit like this, but these morons don't know what it fucking feels like to experience this which means... Shut the fuck up if you don't know what the hell you're talking about. I'm sick of people (dumbasses that believe in 'family' and 'through thick and thin' bullshit that haven't seen my mother's dark selfish side) telling me that I have to support her pathetic ass inspite of all the suffering she's put me through and all the NEW mistakes she keeps making that affect me. I have a family to take care off and I'm not about to put them at risk because of the fallacies of one very STUPID IMBECILIC INDIVIDUAL.
She needs to make HERSELF feel better by acting her own fucking age for once.
I won't tolerate such shit. What a freaking disappointment.
Now I'm going to eat a sandwich, take some Motrin and go to sleep...
Miriam