12:54 AM - What a weekend
Yesterday was my birthday. It did not go as well as I hoped. Typically there is great drama on my birthday. Often my father makes things difficult. This year things were a bit different. On Friday, Caryn took me into downtown and we had a lovely day. I got a phone call from my aunt in the morning, but I missed it. She left a voice mail asking me to come to her house on Saturday. I decided to take the offer. Caryn and I had nothing to do on Saturday. Well, I had had homework due. I did get that done before the party. I went to the party. It went OK. My aunt bought veggie burgers for Caryn and I. My grandmother was there.
About halfway through dinner, my grandmother asked if my father called. I realized my cell phone had been off for a few hours so I turned it back on. No calls. She claimed he was going to visit me and had been several times. Neither of my parents have every visited me in this apartment. We've been here since last July. Actually we started our lease in June, but not quite moved in. Neither of them visited us in our previous apartment in Kalamazoo. We were there for two years. In total, my mother has visited me I think four times since 2000. My father has visited 2-3 times. I'm counting our wedding as a visit! I explained that my father had not called and has not visited me once. She was shocked. She also didn't believe me. Earlier in the day, I showed her a picture of the outside of our apartment. My aunt suggested she call my father and ask him about the red bricks on the outside of our apartment building. (there are no red bricks!) He said they were lovely on the phone. Ouch! She caught him in a lie.
This sort of thing is somewhat normal in my life. My family sucks. Well, I don't want to include Caryn in that. Anyway, I just got thinking about that last night and today. My mother sent me an e-card for my birthday. I can deal with that. She's had problems at work and they did a temporary layoff so she doesn't have funds to do more right now. I get that. My father didn't even send me an e-mail! My mother explained today when I saw her that he bought me a gift and planned on stopping by "maybe" on Saturday. Well that did not happen. Needless to say, my feelings are very hurt.
I'm really hating my birthday and any holidays. In fact, my aunt and grandmother are the only people to give me gifts on or before my birthday. Caryn did buy me something from the cats at the mall I guess. She *will* get me something nice that I need, but she doesn't even buy gifts on the day of events now. Granted, she did take me out to lunch and things so I don't feel totally boned. However, its not like Christmas, my birthday or our anniversary change days each year! The date stays the same.
Wow, the more I think about his the angrier I get. I feel so dumped on. Oddly, I forget my aunt and grandmother's birthdays sometimes and they are the nicest to me. Perhaps I should correct that this year.
I didn't do a lot for my mother's birthday this year, but I did build her a new computer for Christmas and they are so close together.
I think the real issue is that my father and I have a real problem with our relationship. Its been bad for years. Every time we start getting a little closer all hell breaks lose.
I'm mostly just trying to vent with this post. I don't want to make Caryn feel bad. My father sure as hell could I suppose.
I just found out my second cousin moved to Chicago. We lived in the same town for almost a year and then she moved away. I never saw her. We were so close until junior year of high school.
About halfway through dinner, my grandmother asked if my father called. I realized my cell phone had been off for a few hours so I turned it back on. No calls. She claimed he was going to visit me and had been several times. Neither of my parents have every visited me in this apartment. We've been here since last July. Actually we started our lease in June, but not quite moved in. Neither of them visited us in our previous apartment in Kalamazoo. We were there for two years. In total, my mother has visited me I think four times since 2000. My father has visited 2-3 times. I'm counting our wedding as a visit! I explained that my father had not called and has not visited me once. She was shocked. She also didn't believe me. Earlier in the day, I showed her a picture of the outside of our apartment. My aunt suggested she call my father and ask him about the red bricks on the outside of our apartment building. (there are no red bricks!) He said they were lovely on the phone. Ouch! She caught him in a lie.
This sort of thing is somewhat normal in my life. My family sucks. Well, I don't want to include Caryn in that. Anyway, I just got thinking about that last night and today. My mother sent me an e-card for my birthday. I can deal with that. She's had problems at work and they did a temporary layoff so she doesn't have funds to do more right now. I get that. My father didn't even send me an e-mail! My mother explained today when I saw her that he bought me a gift and planned on stopping by "maybe" on Saturday. Well that did not happen. Needless to say, my feelings are very hurt.
I'm really hating my birthday and any holidays. In fact, my aunt and grandmother are the only people to give me gifts on or before my birthday. Caryn did buy me something from the cats at the mall I guess. She *will* get me something nice that I need, but she doesn't even buy gifts on the day of events now. Granted, she did take me out to lunch and things so I don't feel totally boned. However, its not like Christmas, my birthday or our anniversary change days each year! The date stays the same.
Wow, the more I think about his the angrier I get. I feel so dumped on. Oddly, I forget my aunt and grandmother's birthdays sometimes and they are the nicest to me. Perhaps I should correct that this year.
I didn't do a lot for my mother's birthday this year, but I did build her a new computer for Christmas and they are so close together.
I think the real issue is that my father and I have a real problem with our relationship. Its been bad for years. Every time we start getting a little closer all hell breaks lose.
I'm mostly just trying to vent with this post. I don't want to make Caryn feel bad. My father sure as hell could I suppose.
I just found out my second cousin moved to Chicago. We lived in the same town for almost a year and then she moved away. I never saw her. We were so close until junior year of high school.