3:33 PM - Dreading to Go Home
I'm nearing the end of my day and I absolutely dread going home. I don't want to face him and more screaming/arguing or whatever else he has in mind. The mere thought of it exhausts me to no end. Oddly enough, beyond tired, I don't feel much else. I know what whatever happens I can't do anything about it and I'll accept the consequences. I'm hoping there will be resolve, but I realize that may not be likely. The more I think about it, I think it's a deeper rooted problem and I'm the scapegoat. Reason being, in the last few days prior to this blowup he was heated in conversation almost to the point of being hateful to me. He apologized, but it was out of character for him. I know work is driving him crazy, but I sense something else may be going on. I guess I'll find out in about an hour and a half. I so just want to find a peaceful place and lie down. I didn't sleep worth a crap last night. I've been sick at my stomach today. I know it's stress. I just don't want to fight with him any more. I'm done. I'm spent. I'm not going to do this any more. The ball's in his court and it's his call entirely. I just want to get away from all of this crap and the people that give it to me and find a peaceful place where I can just be peaceful and happy. I want to have something happy to report to the world. All of this negativity is really dragging me down. I'm just not sure how to get rid of it though with what all is going on. I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. I long for a simpler time in life. It seems like life gets so complicated as you get older. I miss the days where all I dealt with was homework, friends and hanging out. It's immature, I know. But life was a whole lot easier. Ah gosh, what do ya do? Well, here's to hoping that things will just smooth themselves out. Heaven help me.
mood: 
Tired
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