10:32 AM - Not Sure How I Feel
I find I once again have been let down by someone I love and my feelings weren't taken in regard at all. I feel stupid for allowing it. I was angry, but I'm not any more. I'm not sad. I'm just tired of it. I still want to move forward on a positive note with my life. The old me would've let this berate and belittle me.
I'm beyond that now. My feelings are valid and I am worth someone else's consideration. I know it. Let the someone that let me down figure it out. For reasons I don't understand, I find that if I do maintain a "silent but distant" presence that I get results. So I don't argue much any more. I still get angry and frustrated because I think this person's emotional IQ is that of a dirt clod.
It wasn't always this way, but I think I've been taken for granted. I know I have. Perhaps when I go out of town next week, they can reflect upon this. Sometimes I wish I had the intestinal fortitude to treat people as they've treated me. At times my thoughts have been very cruel when treated that way. But I can't seem to lash out...maybe I should just to purge it out of my system. But my passive-aggressive nature won't allow me to.
I'm still seeing a therapist and that does help. I just need to move forward and I'm going to. As Barney Fife would say, "Nip it." That's what I need to do. I think Eminem said it best by "Cleaning Out My Closet". I'm starting that today. Well at least it's Friday! Thanks for listening. I'll be back soon.
Me