2:42 PM - And the Plot Thickens
Well, I went to the much-dreaded meeting. I lucked up and got to sit in with another group and got out quickly. But my group has been in Johnson City the entire day. For some reason, the regional super wanted to speak to them individually. She didn't ask that of me when I was there. Doesn't sound good, does it?
I discovered I'm being passed around to a 3rd secretary and rumor has it that she's going to be really pissed about it. I wasn't a slave driver with the one I have. I love her. She's been honest, helpful and efficient. I appreciate her a lot. I just have the "red headed stepchild" syndrome. I'm not quite here but not there either. I think that's just one more confirmation that I don't belong here.
It doesn't bother me any more. I know I'll find work doing something somewhere eventually. I've had the sick feeling that I'm in trouble. Can't think of what for though. Call it being paranoid, but I've been burnt too many times in my duration here. My guard is up. I know who can and can not be trusted. And this too shall pass....
I hope I'm not in trouble. We have another meeting here tomorrow and I imagine some of this stuff may carry over. I swear I hate drama. I have managed to get a lot of good work done today. It's been nice and quiet and Suzie and I have had a nice day. I guess it's to soften the blow for tomorrow. I don't know. I know I should have more faith in this place, but I've been let down too many times and just can't seem to do that.
Other than that, things are going ok. I'm walking again and trying to be somewhat active. That does seem to help. I tell ya I need something because last night I was up until 2am because of dread of coming here. I shouldn't let it get to me like that, but what else do ya do when the boss won't tell you what the meeting is about and that there's good and bad and she "thinks" the good "might" outweigh the bad. I hate all this cryptic mind-game crap.
It was fun when I was 14, but I just don't have time for it now. Gosh, I shound hateful today. I really don't mean to. There are good things going on my way. Things are looking up. I just can't let anyone destroy those thoughts for me. No matter what. So that's about it for now. I'll keep you posted.