6:26 PM - How?
How can someone who loves you hurt you so much over and over? How can they go from loving you to saying things to hurt you on purpose? How can someone do that and get such satisfaction out of it? How come I can't move from here? How come I can't walk away? How is it that I'm hurting and numb at the same time? How is it that I feel nothing and everything at the same time? How is it that I feel afraid and uncertain? How is it I allow this stupid shit to happen over and over again? How is it I continue to let him get to me? How do I find myself still caring when in the back of my mind it's one constant letdown after another? Why can't I see the writing on the wall? Am I really that ignorant? What keeps me here? Why do I feel so tired and weary all of a sudden? Why do I still care? When will I see things for what they are? Am I overreacting? What do I do? Who can I talk to but this screen? Why do I find myself alone in my darkest times when all I want is someone who'll listen and understand? How could I be sooo stupid? Why can't he be good? What's he afraid of? Why does he do this? Does he enjoy seeing me hurt? When will this nonsense end? A billion questions and not an answer to one. I find myself hurting yet comfortably numb. I'd like to cry out but the tears just won't come. Inside my heart's pounding...a loud steady drum. I hate to argue and fuss and fight. I don't care about what was said or who's wrong or right. I just want peace. I just want relief.