3:14 PM - Just In a Funk
I find myself in a mild funk. Things with my husband are much better after talking. It was strange. I was calm the entire time and I told him I was tired of things as they had been. He's the one that got emotional and worried this time (a definite first). Things are much better and I reminded him to talk to me when something was on his mind. So far, so good.
My new funk is my frustration with my weight. I'm working on it and yes, it's coming off...veeeerrrrry slowly. I fear it never will come off. Sounds stupid and with my other posts not being of sunshine and what not, I imagine I may even sound a bit neurotic. It just seems like the words flow much easier when I'm trying to get this stuff out of my system.
I've found obesity most of my adult life. I've been thin...too thin really. But now, I am way too heavy. I know what I have to do about it, but I still have that looming fear that it won't ever go away entirely. I just want my outside to match my inside. I feel confident in my abilities at work, being a good friend, my compassion for people and my intelligence. I just don't have anything when it comes to my image. I have always been that way. But I think it's affecting me in the sense that I don't take chances as much because I don't want people seeing me.
That may sound silly, but it's how I feel. It's something I have looming over me daily. I know what can be done, it's just figuring out which choice is best due to a)I have type 2 diabetes and b)finding something that I can stick with and will produce results. Perhaps God will whack me upside the head with a perverbial 2x4 and say, "Hey, this is what you need to do." God knows I'm a bit dense and he has to draw me a picture sometimes, but he does get through.
I dunno man....it just sucks the life outta me some days. But what do ya do? Just keep going I guess... that's all I know how to do. Again, thanks for the opportunity to vent and rant. It does help. Perhaps I'll have a happy post soon; not so much 'gloom and doom'. We shall be optimistic about that. Until then, I bid you adieu.
Me